By Emily Giffin
Read: January 2010
Rating: Better than expected
I wasn’t expecting anything fantastic. I believe I bought it as part of a B1G1F sale, mostly because I wanted another book. The table was full of copies of the same 5 books–never a good sign, it implies they can’t sell them. But I took it home anyway, and when I needed something light to read in between work stuff.
The setup is straightforward. Claudia has always known that she doesn’t want to have kids. After a lot of false starts, she finds Ben, who also doesn’t want kids. SWEET. They get married and are blissfully happy for several years. …then something shifts and Ben wants a kid. Claudia does not. Knowing this is not an issue they can compromise on, they divorce.
Baby Proof is about what happens in the year after their breakup. Written in first person present, Claudia narrates everything as it happens. She doesn’t know where her life is going and neither do we. We have to take the punches with her and roll over the rocks together.
What I liked best about it? The avoidance of stupid cliches.
Ben doesn’t suddenly go all goo-goo overnight. It’s clearly something that builds slowly. And he and Claudia are able to be adult about the conflict until it becomes clear that neither is budging.
It’s Claudia who leaves. She has her principles–and they’re well thought out. She didn’t make the decision to remain childless on a whim, either. It breaks her heart to leave Ben. Luckily, she has a best friend and two sisters who can help keep her on her feet.
Claudia is an adult. She’s intelligent. Her friends are supportive, but know when to nudge her. She refuses to place ‘blame’ for her choices on her mother, who cheated on their father while Claudia was still a child.
I hate books that turn on a magical change of heart. This isn’t one of them.
I’m going to start giving some spoilers now:
Over the course of the year, events present Claudia with new things to ponder. She begins to accept that perhaps her family has played a role in how she’s living her life–but she doesn’t suddenly jump up and wave a wand. She is very, very aware of where she and Ben now stand.
We all know what the worst, and most typical ending is. Claudia has a revelation and decides she really does want a baby. She runs back to Ben, a misunderstanding is sorted out, and the whole thing wraps up with an epilogue that features Ben Jnr.
NOT THIS TIME, BAD WRITING.
This is a real love story. What will you do for love? What won’t you? A year later, Claudia still loves Ben, misses him deeply–not just as a lover, but as her best friend. She cannot imagine living the rest of her life without him. And this is what sends her back to him. She is now open to what she wasn’t initially–she will consider this baby business if that is what will make him happy, because it’ll make her happy. And he’s now in the same boat–he’ll forgo a baby if that’s what will make HER happy. Because they desperately love each other.
There’s no bow on top, no wedding bells… Just the comforting assurance that they are together now and willing to work so that they stay together, and both can be happy.
Will they have a baby? We don’t know.
AND THAT IS WHY I LOVED THIS BOOK. It’s about having babies–and in the end, we don’t know if they have a baby. They’re just happy together. (Which is, of course, the most stable setting to have a baby.)
I’m gonna rant a little bit now.
The world is fucking baby obsessed. It’s most demonstrable in film. Any time a woman gets pregnant, in movies or on TV, she always has the baby. No matter how stupid a decision this is, she always does. Why? Because baby = 18 years of drama. No baby = intermittent periods of drama and melancholy. I get the need for drama. But it’s setting a really bad precedent when women on screen are popping out babies no matter their circumstances.
Lynette Scavo of Desperate Housewives, is in her late 40s, has 5 kids (the step-daughter’ll come back), and she’s working an intense job that requires her to be on call for schmoozing at any time. Not only does she lie to her boss, friends, and her kids, she also puts the unborn babies at risk for horrible complications. I’m not talking about the plane crash, I’m talking about her and Tom being in their late 40s!!
In Waitress she has the baby despite her husband being an abusive, alcoholic shit. She’s so poor she couldn’t pay for a bus ticket if she found the courage to leave him.
Juno, though in high school, is at least responsible enough to give the kid to another family.
In Knocked Up, she’s a very successful single woman who finds herself impregnated by a dipshit. Sure, he’s revealed to have a heart of gold, but GOOD GOD, WOMAN. She was a fucking bombshell, it’s not like she’d never find anyone else willing to donate sperm.
Life Unexpected is showing the complications that can arise from such a decision. Babies don’t always get adopted. And no one adopts anything older than a baby. You pass out of diapers and you’re stuck in the system for life. And it seems that all adopted kids have a deep desire to know who their real parents are–and they just might find them.
And then there’s Secret Life of the American Teenager. I watch this because I like the secondary characters and I enjoy knowing what’s going to happen before it does (I’m a plot guessing MACHINE). This show was supposed to be realistic. Show the harsher side of teen pregnancy. HA! Amy dithered about what to do, she was leaning toward adoption. Then, at the last moment, ALL the other kids poured in and swore, “We’ll help you, Amy! We’ll all take turns helping you look after him–it’ll be great!” And she kept the baby. Even though her dream is to go to Juilliard.
Basically, it doesn’t matter in Fictionland how old you are, how you got pregnant, WHO got you pregnant, or if you can afford it. You’re having that baby, cause even if you support the right to choose, you just can’t bring yourself to do it.
Should the writers decide you aren’t going to have a kid, you will miscarry or have a false positive. No worries!
This is why it was so refreshing to read a book where having a baby isn’t mandatory. Now, if I could just find one where she has the guts to go to Planned Parenthood… That’s a story no one seems willing to tell. It doesn’t come in pink or blue.
Tags: Emily Giffin
By Jude Deveraux
Attempted to Read: January 2010
Rating: AUGH
Wot the shit is this?! Today, RB stands for RIDICULOUSLY BAD.
Hey Jude don’t make it bad
Take a sad song and make it better
Remember to let her under your skin
Then you’ll begin to make it better
Better, better, better, better, better, Yeah,Yeah,YeahNa Na Na Na Na Na Na
Na Na Na Na, Hey Jude!
Hey Jude, WHAT THE SHIT IS THIS?!
This was supposed to be a safe bet. This is one of the most popular romances out there–even the Smart Bitches have called it a guilty pleasure. It has 398 5-star reviews on Amazon, and only 75 rated below that.
WHAT THE SHIT IS THIS SHIT?!!
I haven’t even finished the first chapter. I cannot go on. This is just too awful.
Our ‘heroine’ is Dougless somethingorother. Dougless. I wasn’t even aware that could be a woman’s name. And DougLESS? Who spells it that way!? Who has EVER spelled it that way?! Scottish clans should rise up and declare war on Deveraux for perpetuating the bastardization of their name.
The rest of her family is rich and successful. Apparently she’s the odd one out. Instead of being a lawyer with her own firm, she teaches elementary school. She doesn’t earn big bucks as a doctor, she scrapes by. And she’s not married with children, she dates the most abysmal men. Guys who seem great and then turn out to have a prison record. The priest who’s embezzling church funds. I’m supposed to sympathize with this?
Her current beau is some jackoff called Robert. He’s rich as Croesus and knows it. He’s divorced and has a daughter. What do we know about the daughter? She’s fat. She’s fat and she hates Dougless. That is the extent of Gloria’s character development. Fat, obnoxious, whiney, spoiled child. And did I mention fat? Because that is her principle characterization.
Robert is one of those rich fuckers who has taken an interest in the womens’ movement because it means women WANT to pay 50% of everything. Even if they can’t actually afford it. He holds this over Dougless’ (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Less a BRAIN!) head at every opportunity. Though they live together, he makes sure everything gets itemized down to the penny. Groceries, rent, dining out, etc.
But he’s not ALL bad. He’s taking Dougless to England for a long vacation. Just the two of them. With a surprise. Surely he’s going to propose to her at last! She’s seen the receipt for the jeweler–$5,000. He says, “Expense is no object,” so Dougie (I cannot call her Dougless, it’s demeaning) plans a great trip for them.
What’s the surprise? Gloria the pig-child is coming with. She’s his ANGEL, you know. She has five suitcases, he has three, and Dougie has one. Dougie gets to sit squished in the back with all of them. Gloria complains that she’s scuffing them.
“Do we have to see another church?” Gloria wailed. “I’m sick of churches. Couldn’t she find something better to look at?”
“I was told to search out historical sights,” Dougless snapped.
“Robert stopped the car in front of the church and looked back at Dougless. “Gloria’s statement was valid and I see no call for your temper. You are making me begin to regret bringing you.”
That, right there, sums up the whole dynamic. He is a master manipulator, and his child has learned the same. Oh, and she’s not a CHILD, child. She’s at least a preteen and old enough to know better.
Anyway, this trip is pretty damn disastrous. Robert’s jewelry store trip? He bought Gloria a diamond and emerald bracelet. Dougless gets nothing.
Have we established yet that they’re fucking horrible people and we should all run far, FAR away from them?
But if she leaves him, she’ll have invested a year and a half in this man for NOTHING and her family will all LAUGH at her-!!
Dougless is a fucktard. We should all run far, FAR away from her.
Anyway, Gloria the pig-child takes a moment away from Daddy Dearest to tell Dougless some horrible things which are probably lies, but may not be, since Robert is such a jackass. Dougless shows some spine and slaps her. Right as Robert emerges from the church. He is predictably huffy and leaves Dougie there–taking her luggage with him. And Gloria, precious creature that she is, steals Dougie’s purse, letting it dangle out the window as they drive off. …Robert is clearly blind as well.
Devastated, Dougie goes into the church to sob. There’s a tomb there of some earl. While crying beside his giant stone coffin, she says some cliche things like ‘please make my life better’ and next thing she knows, this gorgeous man in armor is standing over her with a scowl.
That’s page 17. And you can subtract two pages of prologue.
Dougless is a moron. Deveraux can’t write for shit. And I really don’t see how our Earl from the 16th Century is going to save things. In the next five pages he proves to be very irritable, and not really sympathetic. I can’t say I buy his reactions, either.
I flipped around a bit, and see nothing to show an improvement.
Back on the swap pile it goes. I need to brush my teeth and my brain.
Tags: Jude Deveraux
By Alice Sebold
Read: January 2010
Rating: Lovely
The sort of book that stays with you for a long time.
Susie is fourteen when she is lured off by a neighbor, raped, and murdered. She watches from her heaven as her family struggles to cope with the aftermath. Her father is obsessed with finding her murderer. Her mother shuts everyone out. Her younger sister feels she must stand in for two daughters, and their brother is too young to understand. They break.
Even when they start to fix the damage, they’re still wounded. One wonders if it will ever really heal.
And Susie, our impotent narrator, can get anything she wants in her heaven… except her desire to grow up.
Deeply moving, with sweet moments, sad moments, and moments that make your heart race.
I shouldn’t have put it off. Go read it.
Tags: Alice Sebold
By Victoria Holt
Read: January 2010
Rating: Not Bad
I don’t remember where it came from, but I wound up with a paperback of this out-of-print book. I can’t see a reason for it to be. It’s not a romance novel–it’s a novel with romance in it. So there.
Caroline Tressidor is the second daughter of a wealthy, upstanding man. Their home in Victorian London is strained, neither parent having much affection for the other, or interest in the children. Caroline is the smarter of the two girls, always questioning, dreaming, and seeing what her sister Olivia misses. They are, of course, thrilled when their beautiful socialite mother begins paying more attention to them… or is it only to Caroline? And yet a fourth person keeps appearing on their outings–the dashing Captain Carmichael.
Caroline lets slip to her father that they have been spending time with him. And then the world as she knew it shifts violently. Mother leaves. Caroline is sent away from London to live in the country with the ‘ogre’ Cousin Mary in the ancestral home. Though essentially banned from her home, she soon settles into life in Cornwall. The wild moors, the people… including the mysterious Paul Landower. His family owns the other large manor in the area, but their funds and the building are in ruins. It looks as though they will have to sell. Before anything is certain, Caroline is called back to London.
Her sister has ‘come out’ and is now on the marriage market. Caroline is approaching that age, too… yet somehow her father never orders them to make her ready. Months go by. And Caroline takes matters into her own hands–she contrives a way to go to a masked event, and winds up the apple of some young gentleman’s eye. Yet she never forgets Paul Landower, the brooding, noble heir…
It all comes down to how Paul can save the family home. If they sell, they’ll have money and no home. If they stay, the home will crumble and they’ll have to move out anyway. But Paul will do almost anything to preserve that house… and pay for it for the rest of his life. Read the rest of this entry »
Tags: Victoria Holt
By Kasey Michaels
Read: January 2010
Rating: Bit weak
I’m really not a fan of romances along these lines–they usually star a modest white woman being swept away be her “Savage” lover. Somehow the Native American man and his sheltered lover manage to bring peace and harmony to their peoples, blah, blah. Not too different from Sheikh books. I think what I dislike most about the American ones is that the Amer-Indians, the real ones, often don’t get much of a say in how their people are represented. There are plenty of Scottish people around to tell you your highlander romances are full of crap, but not so many Lenni Lenape available to tell authors to shut their pieholes.
The Untamed was not a terrible offender in this way, but it was still a bit irritating. I chose it because the plot wasn’t cookie cutter.
It’s the 1760s. Brighid Cassidy was sixteen when her family was killed in a raid and she was taken captive by the Lenni Lenape. She doesn’t remember the sequence of events clearly, but she wound up being taken into the bosom of a Lenape family. Like many other white captives, she integrated into the tribe and, after five years, considers herself more Indian than Irish.
But her cousin back in Pennsylvania has never stopped looking for her. Finally an agreement is made between the colonists and the tribe, and Brighid is one of the agreed exchanges. Her cousin sends an Englishman to retrieve her. Philip Crown is idiot enough to bring his fucking walking stick into the wilds of western Pennsylvania/Ohio. He’s not an idiot in other ways, however. Though Brighid makes it very clear she does not want to return to ‘civilization’, even demanding that what’s left of her Lenape family must come with her, Philip manages to coax her back with him.
Of course, integrated back into white society is going to be a trial. These captives are considered soiled, punished by God for their presumed sins, heathens–and horror of horrors, Brighid was wife to one of those savages! A peer like Philip really should be marrying a wealthy British heiress who can give him perfect English children.
Anyway, sparks fly, misunderstandings as compounded, lies-told-for-the-good-of-others are told, vengeful villains attempt to destroy their happiness before it can start, etc. etc. Now much to complain about in the plot. Nothing to squeal over, either.
What makes the book weak is the writing, which is fine for long stretches and then something stupid leaps out. Like, Philip, who is an intelligent man, who wears deerskin leathers, who is pretty much the opposite of a dandy… carries his ebony cane into the fucking wilds of Pennsylvania, and every so often blurts out, “I’ll have you know, good man!” and other such dandyisms. That do not suit him at all. Either he’s a ridiculous, pompous stuffed shirt, or he’s a down to earth, reasonable person. It’s the author who can’t bother coming up with creative dialogue when stock phrases are to hand.
There were also some wording things. I don’t remember any specifically, but they annoyed me. It was stupid, glitch-y stuff that broke the rhythm.
Thankfully, I’m hormonal and moody enough to let almost anything slide right now. :p
Tags: Kasey Michaels
By Marni Bates
HCI Teens
Louder Than Words is a series aimed at teenagers about teenage experiences. Atypically, the volumes are also written by teenagers. It may seem bizarre to ask teenagers to write memoirs—as Marni says, her siblings laughed—but Louder Than Words is dedicated to “reinforce[ing] the message that the experiences of teenagers and their perceptions and beliefs regarding [their] experiences have validity.”
Marni Bates comes from a dysfunctional home. Her parents are estranged long before they divorced, and her sister is her rival. Young Marni wants to be loved, so she plays into the manipulative games her father contrives. The shocking realization that her father sees her as a tool, rather than a daughter to love, is the first of many sledgehammers to Marni’s self-esteem.
Trichotillomania is a stress-related disorder. People pull their hair out as a means of coping, not unlike cutting or other forms of self-mutilation. Marni begins to pull at her eyebrows, taunted about her unibrow, a term she doesn’t even understand. Soon she is tugging out her eyelashes, her bangs, and the hair behind her ears. She knows she’s gone too far, but she can’t stop herself. Still, she hides the results of her pulling well, giving the disorder free reign over her mind and body.
Read more: http://feministreview.blogspot.com/2009/12/louder-than-words-marni.html
Tags: Marni Bates
By Susanna Clarke
Read: December 2009
Rating: Engrossing
For the record, I am including this in the 2009 50Book list, because I read the vast majority of it during December. So there.
Mein gott, this has been sitting on my shelf since FOREVER. And it is one daunting brick of a book, too. Over 1000 pages in the paperback. No wonder it took Clarke 10 years to write it!
I think it’s actually in the book’s favor that I let it sit until now. It’s written in the style of its period–early 1800s. Though much less dry than some of the books written at the time, it’s also much slower than what modern readers are used to. Add to that its slow start, and I may never have gotten past page 50.
It turns out you need to get past pages 100-150. That’s when it finally starts to get interesting. Read the rest of this entry »
Tags: Susanna Clarke
It was a fairly decent year, book-wise. On the one hand, I feel that I should’ve read more, as I certainly had the time… On the other, some great choices.
I spent time with some excellent authors, read some classics, and dipped into quite a few excellent comics.
See the 50 Book Challenge list for 2009
I now have 4 such lists, documenting what I read (and finished–no incompletes on these lists) during each year. It’s nifty to look back. In part because I see the titles and can’t imagine it being THAT long since I last read them.
This year could go any which way. But here’s what I have on my reading agenda:
- Edit my NaNoWriMo09, and read various books about editing, prepping for submission, etc .
- Read book on niche marketing that was a gift for my father and has somehow devolved onto me…
- Reread/finish the Confessions of Georgia Nicholson by Louise Rennison. (omfg I’ve never reviewed them on here!? CALAMITOUS.)
- Read the entirety of Anne McCafferey’s Pern books. I FINALLY have them-!
- Reread/Finish Libba Bray’s AGATB trilogy.
- Continue to read and review for the Feminist Review.
- Oh, and finish the Tintin project. Durr.
Sounds like I’m set.
On Dec 2nd, Alan Elsner, the author of Romance Language wrote an entry on the Huffington Post called How Romance Novels Take the Romance out of Romance. Inspired by misinterpretations of his own book (which is a novel with romance in it, but not romance genre fiction) to pick up a selection of genre romances and see what they’re like. Unfortunately, what he wrote turned out to be a bunch of generalizations denigrating the genre as a whole because the handful he picked up were terrible. I consider this entry to be irresponsible for a forum like the HuffPo, which is supposed to be a sort of Internet-based and -driven newspaper, with higher standards. Elsner’s entry reads like a blog post you find on any unmoderated site.
Thankfully, the Internet does its own moderating.
Over at Smart Bitches, Trashy Books, the bitches were rightfully angry (this, after all, being one of the MAJOR reasons SBTB exists). Sarah wrote a post at SBTB (HuffPo Books Disses Romance, Stupid-to-Solar-Power Conversion to Come) in which she dissected the points Elsner listed in his article. The frustration is clear.
Then the HuffPo invited Sarah to write a rebuttal for their site, and here she is! Pride and Prejudice and Pedantry. The Smart Bitches really are smart, and it shows clearly in Sarah’s HP article.
I invoke Smart Bitch Law #1: Thou shalt not diss the reading material of another person merely to elevate one’s own. By doing so, thou art passing the buck, and verily thou art being a douchebag.
To his credit, Elsner has responded to comments on his post, and has offered to read any suggestions given.
What’s irritating is the casual way in which he denounced the entire genre, as though it didn’t matter. His phrasing reflects that attitude, indicating that it’s formulaic and doesn’t do its job. I won’t argue that he found a lot of the hallmarks of romance novels, but he clearly hasn’t found any of the depth that occurs when these hallmarks are used as tools, or inverted or replaced. I hate the tropes, too. But mein gott, I could write up a similar denouncement of other genres from some tawdry examples. It wouldn’t be hard–I don’t like mysteries, horror, or literary fiction anyway. But I won’t dismiss them as trivial.
For whatever reason, there is still this widespread view of romance fiction as unimportant. It’s just an excuse for erotica. It’s escapist (what fiction isn’t?). In the words of Elsner, “It turns out that one stiff nipple is much like another; one engorged penis pretty similar to the next.”
I hate to play the feminist card so relentlessly, but here it is. Romance is seen as “for women.” Much as chick flicks are poo-pooed by “serious” critics, chick lit will never be given serious attention except from the people making money off it. And doesn’t that encapsulate the treatment of women, womens’ products, womens’ entertainment and womens’ health?
No one tells guys that sports are silly. Gawd knows, for eons women have been saying things like, “This is just an excuse to watch things blow up,” and it’s never made an ounce of difference. Cars careen off the track, men cheer, and advertisers swoop in to collect, all the while stroking male egos. They’re praised as manly when they hoot and thump one another on the back.
Romance novels are one more example of women being shamed for being women. As Sarah so adroitly makes clear, what women want in good romance novels is the emotional engagement between characters. The sex is fun, but it’s not the point. If it were, the various sub-genres that don’t include sex (or freaking HAND HOLDING–I’m looking at you, Evangelicals) wouldn’t be a rising force. It’s been demonstrated time and again that women are less visual, more verbal, and more emotionally-engaged than men. Romance novels key into those, and (should) deliver a story that makes the heart sway with the heroine’s.
If anyone thinks the sex in the average romance novel is explicit or shocking, you need to take a step back. I just read one that included face-sitting in the first 60 pages. THAT shocked me. For all that romances are descriptive, they’re also pretty vanilla. And nothing like hard-core erotica.
That’s my rant for the night. Less pissed about what Elsner said, than the way in which he said it, and the method he used to reach his opinions. Oh, and the forum. Craptastic opinion piece of the HuffPo indeed. (We can get into HuffPo’s less than stellar headliners another time.)
By Joanne Harris
Read: December 2009
Rating: Delicious
I saw the movie ages ago, but I don’t remember it very well. A good deal of the book felt familiar, which means the movie did bear some similarity to it. Not that anyone would really care when they could gaze on a GORGEOUS Johnny Depp.
The book is lovely. Intriguing, with a current of mystery. I don’t think the movie did justice to the deep internal conflicts occurring in the two main characters.
Vianne is the unmarried mother of a little girl. They live as vagabonds, moving from place to place as the wind takes them. Now they are settling in a small town in France, on the banks of a river. To support them, Vianne opens a chocolaterie.
This sets her instantly at odds with the dour priest, Reynaud. He sees Vianne and her mystical, pagan ways as a direct threat to his church, and to him personally. From their first meeting, they recognize one another as the enemy.
Vianne brings more than chocolate to this small town. She brings change. Most of it good. Most of which makes Reynaud squirm.
Absolutely worth reading. A much richer experience than the film, though probably less ‘feel good.’
Tags: Joanne Harris
